You’re great, but …
2016 has been a year I won’t be sad to say goodbye to. For me, this was the year of rejection:
Rejection #1: SINgle Professor
While this one has since rebounded quite nicely, my American friend in Singapore dealt me with a bit of a blow when he told me the trip I had planned to visit him would have to be purely platonic since he’d just secured himself a girlfriend.
My head had always known there was nothing more to this ‘relationship’ than friends plus, but it still stung. I confessed to him that I was actually a bit jealous – not that he was no longer an option, but that he had found someone to spend time with and enjoy, something I’ve been looking for.
Ego damage: 2 – this wasn’t about me. This was proximity, plain and simple. Also, said professor is coming for a visit next week, so there’s that.
Rejection #2: UnScotsman
This one annoyed me to no end. We went on a date and had good chats, but was I attracted to him? Not really. Was I bored and trying to dip my toes into actually dating again? Yes.
After about a month and a half of dating, as we were naked about to have meh sex, he informed me that he really liked me, but just wasn’t that into me.
WELL I’M NOT INTO YOU!
Ego damage: 6 – I was rejected by a man who I wasn’t attracted to! Few things sting like that does.
Rejection #3: Flying Dutchman
This one still perplexes me. Our first date was solid – good chat, cute, smart, ambitious, tall Dutch man (have I mentioned how much I love Amsterdam!?) and he was flirting with me in the messages following.
Second date was solid again, and again, consistent flirting and banter.
Third date was good, but by this point I had had enough. What’s your deal, son? So I asked, and he replied: You’re my new favourite person in Dubai, but I don’t want a relationship.
Fine.
Ego damage: 5 – I knew the spark wasn’t really there. I think I was trying to force something.
Rejection #3: Out of Order Lawyer
Another guy I was totally meh about, but got a second date for the worst reason of all: I felt like I owed it to him.
Our first date was extravagant. He took me to one of the fanciest restaurants in town and spent close to $600 on dinner. Now, I ALWAYS offer to split the bill, but I’ve never been so happy for someone to say no. This is not something I had budgeted for, but he really wanted to go.
While there was no spark, the extravagant dinner made me think I should give him another shot. Spark can be built over a few meetings, right?
Our second date was much more up my alley: a nice pub for some food and a few beers. Over the course of dinner, he casually mentions how he’s a confirmed bachelor.
Me: What does that mean to you?
Him: I don’t see myself ever being in a relationship again.
Me: So, what are we doing here?
Him: I really like your company, and wanted to spend more time with you.
No, just no.
Don’t waste my time like this. I am a person looking for a romantic connection, not new platonic male friends – I have enough of those. After dinner, I went to my girlfriend’s house and drank wine on her roof, the way the universe intended.
Ego Damage: 4 – while I wasn’t attracted to him, this didn’t feel like a personal rejection, just an overall situational rejection.
Rejection #4 : Tall, dark and Belgian
I broke a first date rule of mine for this guy – we didn’t consume any alcohol! Despite that, it was a great date, one of those dates that actually gets better the more you think about it. We were texting nonstop all week, and we had date #2 the next weekend.
Second date was equally as good. Smart, funny, TALL, cute, and nerdy – check, check, check, check, and check. At the end of the evening, I invited him over for a night cap. We had a little dance party in my living room and then he stayed over.
He was affectionate all night and the whole next morning. When he left, it was all kisses, and talk soons, but then the messages were … different. The response time was longer, and the banter wasn’t there. I invited him over for dinner before he went away for the week, and he said he couldn’t and that he would be away for the next 3 weeks. After a few more messages, he informed me that he doesn’t really have time to date right now, that he’s figuring stuff out (he’s recently divorced with two kids) and he simply can’t.
THEN WHY ARE YOU DATING?!
Listen, I have no problem if you’re not up for actual dating, but don’t put yourself online without clearly indicating such.
Ego Damage: 8 – I liked this one. I thought he had potential. Apparently he did not.
the blog of shame 